Child Custody Information

In keeping with the family court doctrine of “the best interests of the child”, most states require substantial evidence that a parent’s extra marital affairs has harmed the child or is likely to harm the child before factoring it in a custody dispute. However, this also depends on the law of the state, the facts in each custody case and the personal bias of the judge.

If, for example, one parent has had a discreet affair during the marriage,that normally would not be a significant factor in deciding custody. Similarly, if after the marriage is over, a parent lives with a person to whom he or she is not married, the live-in relationship by itself normally is not a major factor in deciding custody. In the case of live-in relationships, the quality of the relationship between the child and the new live-in partner can be an important factor in a custody dispute.

If the parent’s non-marital sexual relationship or relationships have placed the child in embarrassing situations or caused significant stress to the child, then the relationship would be a negative factor against the parent involved in the relationship. In one case, for example, a mother conducted an affair during her marriage with a man who lived in the neighborhood. She and the neighbor periodically were involved in the woman’s bedroom while the husband was out, but the child was home.

This placed the child in a stressful situation–a situation that grew worse when the wife of the neighbor appeared at the door and demanded that the child tell her what the child’s mother and neighbor were doing in the bedroom. The mother lost custody primarily because of her non-marital relationship and it’s detrimental effect on the child.

Although most states require a specific showing of harm to the child before non-marital sexual conduct is considered, courts in a few states are more inclined to automatically assume that a parent’s nonmarital sexual relationship is harmful to the child or will be harmful to the child. As with the issue of a preference for mothers or fathers in custody cases, the issue of a parent’s sexual conduct can be one in which individual judges may have personal biases that influence their decisions.

For more invaluable information on extra-marital sexual misconduct, “friendly parent doctrine,” (caregiving parent, religion, judicial bias, “psychological parent doctrine,” mothers vs. fathers bias, CLICK HERE, where you will find every item that can be considered by a family court judge and every strategy for winning custody of you child is discussed. Don’t be left in the dark about what REALLY goes in in a child custody dispute!