The obligation of being a parent does not end after a divorce. It is extremely important to understand that the bond of marriage is completely different from that of parents. This is the most common down fall in today’s society, as a dissolution of marriage takes place so does that of parenting. To avoid difficulty in sharing parenthood after a divorce, try to follow these basic rules:
• Address situations with business-like behavior. If at any time a conversation becomes a little too personal, it might be wise to continue it on a later date.
• Respect and encourage the child’s relationship with the other parent.
• Schedule regular appointments with the ex-spouse to discuss parenting issues.
• Make no assumptions on past behavior.
• Attempt to express and/or show appreciation towards one another as even the simplest comment or action can create a stronger and more effective partnership.
• Never intentionally break or skip appointments. If one can’t be kept, be immediately forthright and honest.
• Do not make individual decisions.
• Be open minded.
• Remember the goals and recognize the benefits as they arise.

CLICK HERE for more information on state custody laws and how they affect your own child custody case.

Here is a legal presumption against giving custody to any person who has inflicted any violence against either a spouse or a child. In abuse cases, the judge is required to consider any history of domestic abuse and may not consider the fact that a parent or spouse has relocated to avoid abuse.
As of January 1, 1997, Alabama officially favors joint custody (but not equal physical custody) if in the best interests of the child and the parents agree.
Factors to be considered are:
(1) parental custody agreement
(2) parental cooperation;
(3) parental ability to encourage love and sharing;
(4) any history of abuse;
(5) geographic proximity of parents.
Joint custody may be awarded. However, if the wife abandons the husband and the children are over 7 years old, the husband is granted custody if he is suitable. Grandparents may be given visitation rights. [Code of Alabama: Title 30, Chapters 1-131, 150, 152; and 3-1, 3-4 and Alabama Case Law].

CLICK HERE for more information on state custody laws and how they affect your own child custody case.

In some situations, one parent may use visitation as a tool to spite the other parent. Even the minutest detail, such as transportation, can be utilized as a manipulative weapon. Quite often, the burden of any assault in the end falls upon the child. One can imagine how this must make a child feel. CLICK HERE for detailed information on how to enforce your visitation rights.

If you have discussed the basis and nature of legal fees and costs with your family law attorney and have organised a written fee agreement, you have taken the necessary first step to help you control your legal expenses. Still, there are a few things you can do during the course of your case to help you and your lawyer manage the overall fees and
costs:

Get Organized: During your first interviews, bring as much information as you can and share it with your lawyer. Think about the case in advance before talking to a lawyer. Write down the questions that you want your lawyer to answer. This could help cut down the time that the lawyer will spend investigating the case and gathering information.

Be Thorough: Tell your lawyer all the facts. Don’t assume that your lawyer knows them all. Your lawyer should tell you that all your information will be kept in confidence. In order to represent you efficiently, it will help your lawyer to know as much as possible about your case and to avoid surprises during the course of the representation.

Be Efficient: Try to be as concise as possible. In many circumstances you will pay for every minute you spend with your lawyer. A friendly relationship can facilitate the handling of your case, but you should try to limit your discussions to your legal matter. You will not want to pay for a long, friendly conversation about non-legal matters.

Communicate: You need to discuss the case with your lawyer and prepare for meetings. You are probably the primary source of information about your case. If something new happens, you should inform your lawyer. It may change what the lawyer is doing on the case and save you and the lawyer time (and thus money).

Examine Your Bill: Make sure that your bills do not contain costs or expenses beyond those you agreed to pay for. Even if you agreed to pay on a contingency basis (very rare in family law cases), you should check to see that costs and expenses are monitored and properly billed.

Child Custody on a Budget contains over 10,000 resources that will help you in your fight for child custody while costing you little or no money. It comes in a complete child custody package that contains every imaginable piece of information that will help you win custody of your child. CLICK HERE to view the complete guide to winning your child custody battle.

If the relationship between you and your ex spouse is particularly bitter, this can raise problems in the court, particularly if either of you are using the issue of visitation rights to use against the other parent, either by withholding access visits or interfering with visitations between one parent and the children.

When parents separate or divorce, the term “custody” often serves as shorthand for “who gets the children” under the divorce decree or judgment. In 20 states, custody is split into two types: physical custody and legal custody. Physical custody refers to the responsibility of taking care of the children, while legal custody involves making decisions that affect their interests (such as medical, educational and religious decisions). In states that don’t distinguish between physical and legal custody, the term “custody” implies both types of responsibilities.

Custody and visitation should not be confused with child support. Every parent has an obligation to support his or her children. When one parent has visitation rights (but not physical custody), he or she is usually ordered to pay some child support to the other parent. The parent with physical custody is deemed to meet the support obligation through the custody itself.

With one narrow exception, no state allows a parent to withhold visitation because the other parent owes support, or to withhold support because of disputes over visitation. The exception? If the custodial parent disappears for a lengthy period so that no visitation is possible, a few courts have ruled that the non-custodial parent’s duty to pay child support may be considered temporarily suspended.

All states and the District of Columbia have enacted a statute called the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act, which sets standards for when a court may make a custody determination and when a court must defer to an existing determination from another state. Having the same law in all states helps standardize how custody decrees are treated. It also helps solve many problems created by kidnapping or disagreements over custody between parents living in different states.

In most states, it’s a crime to take a child from his or her parent with the intent to interfere with that parent’s physical custody of the child (even if the taker also has custody rights.) This crime commonly is referred to as “custodial interference.” In most states, the parent deprived of custody may sue the taker for damages, as well as getting help from the police to have the child returned.

If a parent without physical custody (who may or may not have visitation rights) removes a child from – or refuses to return a child to – the parent with physical custody, it is considered kidnapping or child concealment in addition to being custodial interference. Federal and state laws have been passed to prosecute and punish parents guilty of this type of kidnapping, which is a felony in over 40 states. In many states, interfering with a parent’s custody is a felony if the child is taken out-of-state. Many states, however, recognize good-cause defenses, such as where the taker acted to prevent imminent bodily harm to self or to the child. In addition, some states let a parent take a child out-of-state if the parent is requesting custody in court and has notified the court or police of the child’s location.

After a final decree of divorce is filed with a court, former spouses may agree to modify the custody or visitation terms. This modified agreement (also called a “stipulated modification”) may be made without court approval. If one person, however, later reneges on the agreement, the other person may not be able to enforce it unless the court has approved the modification. So it is generally advisable to obtain court approval before relying on such agreements. Courts usually approve modification agreements unless it appears that they are not in the best interests of the child. If a parent wants to change an existing court order affecting custody or visitation and the other parent won’t agree to the change, he or she must file a motion requesting a modification of the order from the court that issued it, usually on the ground of changed circumstances. Requiring a showing of changed circumstances encourages stability of arrangements and helps prevent the court from becoming overburdened with frequent and repetitive modification requests.

How do courts handle custody cases where the custodial parent has continually interfered with the custody and visitation rights of the noncustodial parent? For the latest child visitation laws for each and every state CLICK HERE. You will find all of the newest custody/visitation/support information that you need to know about YOUR STATE or ANY STATE!

Typically parenting plans cover important areas such as:

-Residential and child care arrangements

-Time spent with each parent and the wider family

-Financial arrangements

-Recreation and holiday arrangements

-Resolution of conflict

-Education and religion

Shared Parenting Arrangement – Guidelines for Parents
Parents need to reflect carefully on the respective needs of their children and their own parenting resources, as Shared Parenting may not work for everyone.The following guidelines can be used to determine whether or not Shared Parenting is suitable for your family.

Divorce often involves hurt and angry feelings.Sometimes these feelings can make it difficult to work together as parents. Professional counseling may be necessary to assist you in resolving these feelings. Hopefully the hurts and angers of the divorce will not last for ever and the two of you will be able to find a new way of working together and a ‘new way of being related’.

The family does not end with a divorce, and its functions, such as parenting, continue. Shared Parenting allows for the responsibility of parenting to be shared. The end of marriage does not mean the end of the parental relationship. An unworkable marriage does not necessarily result in an unworkable parenting relationship.

The best interests of children are met when parents can work together in carrying out their responsibilities of raising the children together.

Children need a relationship with both parents. Shared Parenting sets the stage for the parents to be involved in the lives of their children.

Raising children is a full time responsibility. Shared Parenting allows for that responsibility to be shared without over burdening one parent, as often happens in sole custody, or by not giving enough responsibility, as may occur with the visiting parent.

Parents have different assets that are important to their children. Shared Parenting can allow parents to combine their child rearing skills and more completely meet the needs of their children.

Shared Parenting requires a plan for day to day care that fosters stability. Some children can handle equal times with each parent; other children need a more central residence.

Both parents have a right and a responsibility to make decisions affecting their children. Parenthood is a privilege that involves responsibility. It is that sense of responsibility that strengthens the ongoing attachment between parents and children.

Shared Parenting is not for parents who are enmeshed in marital battles and who are unable to find a reasonable way of working together. Counseling may be necessary to develop a co-operative relationship. Shared Parenting is not workable when parents are using it to meet their own needs and are unwilling to consider the children’s needs.

A written Parenting Agreement may be helpful in setting the stage for a successful co-parenting relationship. For an unbelievably complete 40 page “fill-in-the-blanks” child custody schedule that you simply have notarized, and file with the court. (If you have an attorney, they will appreciate the thoroughness of your Plan and will file it with the court on your behalf) CLICK HERE You will also get invaluable information on many other child custody issues that you must consider.

If, for example, one parent has had a discreet affair during the marriage,that normally would not be a significant factor in deciding custody. Similarly, if after the marriage is over, a parent lives with a person to whom he or she is not married, the live-in relationship by itself normally is not a major factor in deciding custody. In the case of live-in relationships, the quality of the relationship between the child and the new live-in partner can be an important factor in a custody dispute.

If the parent’s non-marital sexual relationship or relationships have placed the child in embarrassing situations or caused significant stress to the child, then the relationship would be a negative factor against the parent involved in the relationship. In one case, for example, a mother conducted an affair during her marriage with a man who lived in the neighborhood. She and the neighbor periodically were involved in the woman’s bedroom while the husband was out, but the child was home.

This placed the child in a stressful situation–a situation that grew worse when the wife of the neighbor appeared at the door and demanded that the child tell her what the child’s mother and neighbor were doing in the bedroom. The mother lost custody primarily because of her non-marital relationship and it’s detrimental effect on the child.

Although most states require a specific showing of harm to the child before non-marital sexual conduct is considered, courts in a few states are more inclined to automatically assume that a parent’s nonmarital sexual relationship is harmful to the child or will be harmful to the child. As with the issue of a preference for mothers or fathers in custody cases, the issue of a parent’s sexual conduct can be one in which individual judges may have personal biases that influence their decisions.

For more invaluable information on extra-marital sexual misconduct, “friendly parent doctrine,” (caregiving parent, religion, judicial bias, “psychological parent doctrine,” mothers vs. fathers bias, CLICK HERE, where you will find every item that can be considered by a family court judge and every strategy for winning custody of you child is discussed. Don’t be left in the dark about what REALLY goes in in a child custody dispute!

Winning Child Custody

Divorce can be one of the most painful and traumatic experiences you may ever have, and it’s even worse when you are involved a fight with your ex for custody of your children. Even though both parents may be able to reach an amicable agreement in the beginning, it is not unusual for things to start getting nasty once the intial period of separation is over.

If you want to win custody of your children, then the most important thing you must do is find the right lawyer for you. Unfortunately, this is often easier said than done, as for most of us this is our first experience with family law, so we often rely on the advice of friends and family, or even scan through the phone book looking for a suitable attorney.

Here are three important considerations when choosing a lawyer to represent your best interests in a child custody fight:

1. Find an attorney who is a member of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. These are usually some of the most talented lawyers available, and they have a thorough understanding of child custody issues, including the most up to date applicable custody statutes and all the case law that might relate to your particular situation. They must be an expert and have experience in dealing with all the issues that arise in child custody conflicts, right from the negotiation stages to court appearances if the dispute goes that far.

2. If your case goes to the family court, then one of the most important things to consider is finding an attorney who is familiar with the local politics and particulary the judge that will preside over your case. Unlike criminal law courts, there is much more likelyhood of judges letting personal preferences and biases determine their judgement in custody cases. This is because there are relatively few procedural constraints on family court judges and it is very difficult to appeal cases lost at the trial level in the family court system. It is absolutely essential for your lawyer to know that particular judge inside and out, from knowing what he or she considers in deciding who is going to be the “better” parent, right on down to what the judge will accept as permissible evidence, what types of evidence the judge usually favors, and even knowing which possible mental health evaluators the judge will pay more attention to compared with other evaluators. Your lawyer must be familiar with all this if you are going to get a favorable result.

3. Lastly, and also importantly, try to find an attorney who has actually won child custody cases on appeal. This will demonstrate that the attorney has extensive and considerable knowledge in all areas of child custody (usually more than your ex’s attorney) and you can be sure that your attorney will be able to handle any issues that may come up in your own particular case.

Do you know all the important things your attorney should be doing for you? Did you know there are strategies you can use that will make your own attorney work harder for you? CLICK HERE for absolutely everything you need to know about winning your child custody case.